Report No. 1

An interesting thing happened yesterday - as I booted up my PC, this massive space station crashed into the back garden. Then a really strange alien came running into my house, used my PC to rewrite some code in the stations computer, then the station disappeared! However, this alien left a new PC behind - so I started it.
"Windows NT 2257 is active. Checking system...
Acorn RISC processor, 30000000000000000003 Ghz...
2000000000000 Tb RAM...
999999900^9 Tb holographic memory..
."
Anyway, to cut a long story short, I discovered that this new PC was linked directly to the Internet, apparently without any phione charges, so naturally I started using it. However, the system clock was completely gone - I could never get the right time or date from it. However I found some great stuff on usenet and the Web, and thought I might share it. Not that it has anything to do with B5, but it's interesting...


Newsgroup: alt.jobfinder

Wanted: Household cleaning staff.
preferably experienced. Must be willing to work long hours. Experience dealing with radioactive part-organic starship remains an advantage. Apply in writing to Mr. Morden, Z'ha'dum, the Rim, Milky Way galaxy.

--
"Quit while you're ahead"
Mr. Morden, mmorden@icarus.zahadum.com


Newsgroup: alt.minbari.haircare

Hello? Is there anyone there? Please reply, I'm having some serious problems trying to comb around my exertior bone ridge.

--
Ambassador Delenn, delenn@minbari.b5.com
My opinions are not always those of the Minbari goverment.


Newsgroup: alt.niceaccents.luchenko

Am I really the only person here?

--
'I love you...'
Dying Marcus Cole to Ivanova
Babylon 5, "Endgame"
Mark Dunne, mdunne@iol.ie  /  http://homepages.iol.ie/~mdunne
To reply, remove the 'nospam'. I never said I wasn't original...


Newsgroup: alt.sex.luc...

Er, sorry, slight mistake there, that's all that I found so far of interest. Ahem. However, I intend to keep looking.

So ends Marks first exploration of the Time Web, the only internet connection to spam time and space. If anybody wants to hear more from this amazing Internet connection, please tell me before that bizarre little fellow comes back and takes his computer.


1997 Mark Dunne.