Report No. 4
Here you are, as promised, one dish of Spoo.:
Hm, number four, and Mr. Mumble hasn't arrived back to nick his, er, my, er the computer.
I discovered that Doom is installed on the computer, which surprised me, as this computer apparently uses a RISC CPU, and I didn't know there was a version of Doom for that. Still, one lives, one learns.
Lost in Mars region - large black spidery craft. Reward offered to finders.
Please reply care of firstname.lastname@example.org
"Time apart can do a marriage good"
Wanted: Rouge telepaths to entertain after a fashion of Julian Clary. Willingness to have, er, special makeup in cerebral cortex needed. Skill at flying large, highly advanced, fighter craft also a bonus. Those who cannot spend several months in cryo and still look good rising from cryo tubes on Earth Destroyers need not apply.
Reply to: email@example.com
The Za'Ha'Dum Biological Entity Resources Department -
seeing to the employment needs of all things black spidery and invisible most of the time.
Internal Ranger Network:
Has anybody seen Marcus around lately? I haven't noticed him for a while, and he doesn't seem to be posting to alt.fan.teletubbies.dipsy any more. I mean, it's not like he could have died or anything, he was safe on Babylon 5 while the big smah up over Earth way was going on.
FOR SALE:: Large black company cars for sale, low light-yearage, many modern features, inc. hyperspace wibbling, CD player, sun roof and slicer beam (some mildly damaged and in need of repair) Runs on all variants of teep, and has a very high LYTA ratio. Company moving premises, quick sale a preference.
NOTE:: previous sales notices referring to Mr. Morden should not beanswered, as he is temporarily incapacitated.
Direct Undamaged Craft Transfer - Teep Allocation, Psi-corp Earth
MEN - ARE YOU BALD?
Don't you wish you were?
No more combs! No more washing of hair!
A quick squirt of Windolene, and you're done!
Plus, blind enemies with your reflective head!
But, you may ask, how do I become bald?SIMPLE!
Just contact firstname.lastname@example.org
Michael Garibaldi, email@example.com
My opinions are not those of the Earth Alliance or the Babylon 5 command staff, as I am no longer with them. Please reply, I need money.
I suppose there isn't any point in keeping
this newsgroup, is there lads?
Oh, and I also received an e-mail on this computer yesterday,
but I must say it was very offensive.
subject: Moron! Stop messing about!
Look you, we didn't drop the computer off at your hosue so you could mess about on Usenet the whole time, and download pictures of politicians, and for goodness sake stop trying to e-mail them as well. Earthforce takes a dim view of people who send suggestions like that to people like that, and while they can't do anything to you, you ARE making a right mess of causality. Just leave the computer there as a navigational beacon, and please stop using it's temporalcapabilities the way you are, you bloody fool.
I followed Michael Garibaldi's Get Bald Now scheme,
and lost all my hair in next to no time! I'm now
bald, and loving it.
As you can guess, I did *not* take kindly to that.
So I in my reply e-mail I threatened to tell Moyra, and that she'd duct tape him to a wall, and then get to work with her knife (the BIG knife). Er, you don't mind, do you Moyra? Last thing I want to do is annoy you.
Now: a vote. Should there be a part five? Or shall I do a Jeremy, and stop posting until I get more replies? Hmm...
 LYTA stands for Light Year To Alien-teep.
 Which is a, Pune or play on words
 I genuinely have NO idea whatsoever at all what he's talking about here.
 Obviously a complete lunatic, haha, raving, doncha know...
Nothing here that's accurate, at all.
 This is blatantly asking for people to reply saying how wonderful they think my sense of humour is. 
 I have nothing against the occasional lie. :-)