Report No. 5

Usenet Report 5: The Nylon Frontier

I tried to find a manual for the computer today, and actually did. It was, of course, stored electronically on the computer itself. So, flicking through it, I found a page of names. Naturally, having worked out that this was a bit more than your normal run-of-the-mill PC, I was intersted in who had invented the technology used in it. So, here is a short part of the list:

Chief designer: B.S. Johnson
Chief programmer: Wilma Gates
Chip designer: R McDonald
Communcations systems: The Trappist Group
TSP: P. Stibbons

For more information contact sales:[1]

Interesting.... Very interesting...

Newsgroup: misc.last.and.found

LOST: One cranium and various associated elements, human, in vicinity of
Centauri Prime. If found, please leave in location where Za'Ha'Dum
previously was. Reward offered - whatever you want.

Mr. Morden,


<9999 * 10^9999 lines snipped>


Q: How do we know Tomb Raider hasn't got a real world physics engine?
A: Lara Croft can stand up...
Mark Dunne, /
To reply, remove the 'nospam'. I never said I wasn't original...

And on the Earth-Alliance's internal network (never mind how I got in...):

CNC secondary targetting systems v10.3.4 has been found to have a bug. The
following fix can be applied:


Internal error. Insufficient storage space on local systems. 10^99999 Tb
required to store messages on this newsgroup.

Newsgroup: alt.binaries.misc

> So, if anyone has anythng suitable...

<snip this idiots post>

What? This is a binary group! No text-only messages!

STREET ARTIST file follows

file: asvoice.voc
@"Ž0?54383581  Ž%ƒ4@?H’›


This newsgroup is no longer carried by your server, due to negative message

Newsgroup: alt.lost.and.found

LOST: Large elliptical curve, story type. Last seen in sector 421. If
found, please post a reply.

This is the last Usenet Report. As you can see these are mainly filler
posts, and most of them not very good. :-(

There may however be a spin-off series: The Usenet Series: IRC

There are also three web sites planned, currently in production, and a
remastered version of Usenet Report 1!

[1] But can anyone find the OTHER cunningly hidden Pratchett references?:-)

1997 Mark Dunne.