How to Kill a Vorlon
Taken from "Cotto - To clill a mocing byrd"
It has been noticed by many people (well me really) that killing vorlons is not something that you do every day, but it has become a necessary part of every day life recently.... So here is a simple guide.
Vorlons are tough, not just your average steak kind of underdone that breaks your teeth kind of tough but kind of the "Chewing Teflon Duterium Alloy breaks your jaw kind of stuff".
To kill a vorlon you require:
35kg of Tame Vorlon altered telepath
1 pinch of tame vorlon essence
1 human (preffebly brought back from the dead, but handsome good looking, rugged and painfully in love with an alien species will do)
1 Alien in love with above
5,000,000,000 Gillion Bigathousand Megga Amps of electricity
Lots of people with PPGs
1 large metal plate
2 A pre first one - no substitute for this if you want your human to survive.
It helps if your vorlon is fairly thick.
Get your tame vorlon altered telepath (TVAT) to take your thick vorlon for a walk. Entice the vorlon to come into a large easily attackable area and stand on the large metal plate.
If pssible remove your TVAT from the scene otherwise you will leave a nasty stain on the vorlon encounter suit.
Switch on the power and apply the PPGs. Beat until stiff (or until cracked)
When the mixture turns to vorlon essence make sure that the alien lover puts him/herself in danger so that you can gently introduce the human and the vorlon essence in a futile attempt to rescue her - once the vorlon has attacked the human, introduce a little of the pre first one, stirring until a portion is mixed in - this will allow the vorlon essence to release and neutralise the main vorlon mixture. Allow to escape through the walls (preferably do this is space).
NB if you have the vorlon ship in your docking bay it is best to get everyone out and let it launch - you may find that it explodes fairly soon after it leaves the station so handle with care - it may be hot!
Serve the pre first one with the human and bring gently back to life. Allow a mushy scene between the two of them and then point out that the humans life space has been drastically reduced.
Vir does more "cooking" in his "How to Bake Brakiri" out shortly.
© 1997 Steevie